i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
