I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
