i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
