I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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