All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
