Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
