Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize