When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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