Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
