He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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