Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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