Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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