i just sent this text using only my big toe
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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