Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
