I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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