Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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