Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
