i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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