Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
