Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I need moral support for this bender
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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