hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
