They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
