i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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