oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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