I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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