Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
