Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
