it wasn't lemon gatorade
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
