September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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