Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
