i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
