you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
