Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
