sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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