Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
