I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
