3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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