He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
