thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to have your abortion
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
