relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
