well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
