I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just forgot I was standing up.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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