did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
