Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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