Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
