Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize