and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
