Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
