I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
