I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
