I'd wear matching sweaters with you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
