Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
