Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize