I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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