from now on my penis is your penis
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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