we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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