I skipped work to stalk him.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize