i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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